upandaway
V.5
Thursday, November 19
Just like
posted by Bon
Do you really wanna read me whining about myself?
Wahh what's wrong with me. I was watching a Bones ep, and the dead bodyies scared me, if only a bit. WHAT THE HELL? I used to only watch Bones for the dead bodies. D:> OH NO I'm softening ! So I went and played a good couple of games of Counterstrike. Unfortunately, I'm still noob. And even more unfortunately, I jump slightly whenever blood spurts unexpectedly. NOOOOOOOO
Wanna know a secret about my insecurity? I'm pretty insecure. Insecure enough to think someone's talking about me when they talk about someone without mentioning names. And I even go to the trouble of finding points which could make it that the person they're talking about is me. And then I note down everything they are saying, and try my best to not do any of the stuff. It's pretty pathetic. My eye is itchy. And red. :\
I also get uncomfortable when people around me are doing stuff they shouldn't be. Hah, I dunno.. I guess I just wasn't made to break rules. There is no thrill at the chance of getting caught. I'm scared shitless of getting caught. Once, I skipped out of a swimming lesson with my friend, and I refused to hang anywhere but the kiddie pool, in case my mum saw me, even though there was like, no chance of my mum seeing me. Then I went to great lengths to make it look like I just went to squad training. Like, I devised a plan to get to the squad training pool, without passing my mum, and then walk nonchalantly back. I was pathetic. Still am.
My addictive personality ahhh, I really get stuck on stuff. I've been listening to this song on repeat since this afternoon, and I can't seem to get my mouse to click the repeat button to unrepeat it. This addictive personality also extends to grudges. Once I get a clear opinion of you, it's pretty hard to change it, no matter how nice you are to me, or reversely, what bad things I've heard about you. Like the personality test said: Have unusual ability to focus in depth to solve problems in their area of interest. Uhh, not exactly solve problems, but yeah, I focus intently on areas of interest. FOR EXAMPLE: This blog. Seriously, I know I post way too much, but I can't fight the need to blog every time I think of something.
BUT my addictive personality is paired with a short attention span wtf? Seriously, I've had this blog opened since 9:52 pm. It has taken me 1+ hours to write that above, because I keep getting distracted. Sure, I need to do something a lot, but having it in large doses in one time doesn't do it for me. Apart from music because half the time I don't listen, even with the earbuds in my ears. Ahhh, see, I just got distracted again. Might be because I have so many freaking tabs open.
I do overanalyse everything. It's like, "oh, she did that, what does her face say? What does the placement of her hands say? What does this mean? What what what?" Okay maybe not but... I remember someone simply passing me a ball in an unorthodox manner, and I went analysing why, what was the point of passing the ball like that. Something strange: I like sitting in a crowded place and watching people go past, and wondering what's going on with them.
Oh, something else, I like to know what people are talking about, which might be why I watch so many freaking TV shows. Because it kinda annoys me when I'm with a couple of people and they're like, "OMG DID YOU SEE SO AND SO BLAH BLAH SO AND SO" and I wanna know why so and so blah blahing so and so is so OMG like, so I need to go watch it. It's also part of my addictive personality.
Ahh, reading over this blog pissed me off. But since I wrote it, I'll post it.
And I realised I'm probably really annoying. Ahah, I don't really care..
Oh, just a disclaimer: This blog was not intentionally directed at anyone. If you feel it is directed at you, I assure you that it's not.
I wish for stuff.
9:52 PM
